How images reflect can reflect a photographers state of mind

If you don’t know what is wrong with you, how do you know how to fix it? For me, actually being diagnosed with Anxiety and Panic Disorder came as a relief! It meant that I wasn't imagining the awful symptoms I’d been experiencing.

Panic disorder

If you experience panic attacks that seem completely unpredictable and you can’t identify what triggers them, you might be given a diagnosis of panic disorder.

Experiencing panic disorder can mean that you feel constantly afraid of having another panic attack, to the point that this fear itself can trigger your panic attacks.

Never knowing when I was going to get a panic attack was the worst feeling in the world.

This is a personal post that reflects on how a photographer state of mine can subconsciously have an effect on the work you produce.For example i think  that the work i produce is a reflective on the way i process thoughts and self trauma.Suffering from anxiety i think is a common factor in the majority of people that in the sense everyone experiences it at some point.Yet more with people who have a creative nature like my self.I believe this is reflected in my current series of images using Polaroids in which all the subject matters that have taken place are unidentifiable and have the theme of distorted and isolation.I think this links in with the feeling of anxiety.

 http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.VVX8CvlVhBc

Continuing pattern

There is evidently a continuing pattern that has filtered through from my minor project into my major and has similarities that are evidently seen.The difference between the desired is that context of colour , being i used black and white medium format using studio lighting for my minor.Moving on to major i began to experiment with using Polaroid film which is colour .I thinks the image shows a subconscious cycle of how my thoughts are processed.

Primary research

    This another image i first shot for my major work with digital which again reflects on past work i       have created using film for my minor.

continuing sequence

My experimentation with Polaroid continued took a new level with positive outcomes  and it can be seen with the images displayed in this post above .What should be noted with this experimentation is that they where created with the knowledge to expect the unexpected. Each Polaroid came out differently making them small collected yet diverse images.The one thing that is a strong focal point in these images is the red tone that blends through the images giving it contrasting look .

experimentation research

The image above is from a series of images i am creating,this demonstrates the use of technique and experimentation .I found when using Polaroid that sometimes film was developing rather lighter than i anticipated even with the flash of there is still an automatic flash on the camera which is not avoidable.So i began experimenting with the idea that covering the flash may solve this particular problem. This was the first attempt and was not what i expected but more notably more of a exciting breakthrough. Although this image is still rather dark in gave me the creative idea to carry using this method to explore different outcomes, which will be followed up in future posts.The image above has a disorientate figure barely visibly which only emphasis on studied more intently that the intriguing part about this experiment the outcome makes you study the image rather simply just view it.

Comparisons and influential input

     Guy Bourdin - Phaidon



Your creative success is always subconsciously or consciously  influenced by one or artists.In this case one of my influences when creating the top image contact, was Guy Bourdin  who i recently discussed in a previous posts .The nature of his images fit perfectly into the series of images i'm creating .There are many similarities that resemble traits in Bourdin work from my own like the above top image yet displayed in my own personal style. Both images use legs as a subject matter and main focal point,with the rest of the photo content  irrelevant.Unlike guy Bourdin the surroundings in my image stay very neutral in terms of the colour tones that a displayed which are consistent with the focal point being the legs.This could have effectively blended the focal point of the image with the background.The use of flash changes this and create a silhouette shadowing outlines the legs and lights some of a section of the background to the give focal point great quality and emphasis.In doing this it then re links back to the photographers above image in how he creates extravagant block colours to give contrast and emphasis to the main viewing point.

comaparing primary research with use of film and digital

The above images are of similar content yet the top was taken using digital while the bottom photo was produced using Polaroid film.Although of a similar format the two images demonstrate that they couldn't be more divergent from one another. Experimenting this way when documentation my work gave me the ability to see the different qualities each possessed .Also which of the two worked better in relation with the series of images i plan to produce.

I personally feel that the Polaroid film gave a better outcome than the digital in terms of lighting and composition. The subject matter in the Polaroid is being made clear that this is objective matter ,with its central placement with little background to be displayed.Where as the digital image has a very different layout with more space in the foreground that the subject matter which in this particular case does not work well , even though the subject matter is evidently clear i feel is drowned out by the  the white background.The lighting in the Polaroid is desirably better with is softened edges display more of a subtle image.

5x4 colour

This is one of my short/mid length 5x4 negs

more 35mm research

5x4 colour neg

This image was one of three images i was using as my final large portrait prints.It was part of a sequence from short,mid,long depth of field they consist one the same throughout unfortunately when printing this the image was unfocused .

Locations

shooting fill in flash

more 35mm portrait research

Again part of my large format research using 35mm. When.When researching photographers such as Richard Avedon what i was inspired most by, was the portraits he took of real working class people where full of character whether it be a stern look or just a simply smile it's the way he was able to capture every crook and crease in that person face.Although these photographs are only of children i liked to think they both have character through expression.